Monday, July 21, 2014

Monday - July 21 2014

I need a place to vent. I need a place where I can scream and cry, and no one can see me. I need a place where I can say what I want, avoid others, and express myself in anyway I need to.

I had planned on making a blog for my own self a long while ago, funny, I never even had the time or the motivation until things got unimaginably out of hand.

I didn't plan on writing this from a Summer School class the day after one of, if not the absolute, worst breakdowns of my life, thus far...

I can't count the numerous times I've wanted help. I can admit, I have anger problems, but these are only magnified by a brother who goes to any length to worsen a situation by any means possible.

My father has done things that no person should ever do. And everyday, because of my anger issues, I am subjected to be compared to that horror.

I have fought tooth and nail to make it here today. I have placed myself in advanced school classes, expressed my sexuality when others barred me from friendship, I have gotten a job, a crappy one that makes me feel like fucking sewage everyday, but earns me a living and provides a sense of accomplishment and responsibility, if even only a little bit, and I have done everything in my ability to straighten my fucked up life as much as possible.

And in the end,...

I failed.

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